Ok, you guys asked for it. Today I am posting, after multiple requests, a not-so-great painting and the re-do. These two were done on different days (I had to pick up the peices in between). The one above is the redo. Now, I know I am going to get emails saying (what my husband said) that the bottom one is better. But I like the top one a lot better - because ...
1. In general I think it's a better, more balanced composition (even though I put the tomato in the middle on the redo). I like the ledge of the top one - the bottom one feels like everything is in danger of falling forward.
2. I like the shadow on the cup from the glass, up above. The dish below (made by my mother) is beautiful in real life (I didn't do it justice) and maybe too tough to paint so small (probably a cop-out). I got too fussy with it and the edges got tight.
3. The bottom one is fussier in general (in places). I think it's important to have a consistent style across the whole painting (tough to pull off) and I think I was much more successful with this in the top painting.
4. It's tough critiquing myself. I do like the tomato on the bottom better. I'm off to California tomorrow, but please feel free to comment and let me know what you think. I look forward to hearing some different perspectives. Thanks!
39 comments:
Hi Carol;
I completely agree that the redo is much better than the original. It has more depth, more life and more consistency throughout. I prefer the light in the redo, but the daisy in the original has a bit more variety in the strokes.
B
Hmmm, I would have to side with my brother on this one, Carol. Sorry;) I do like the bottom better. In general though I have to say I really LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the paintings with the white dishes in them. White on white. Have fun on your trip, be careful.
Carol, I am with ya on this one. I definately like the redo and the ledge with the fabric tumbling down.
In the first one the feeling just stops where the fabric stops.
Have fun next week
I prefer the lower painting. If the objects filled the space more (not so much negative space) it would work better. I like how this painting (the lower) has a greater range of value (could use more darks in the neg. space) and more variety of sizes in the shapes.
Sorry, I also like the bottom one. To me, the composition is much better (tomato off centre) and I like the white pot with lid and tomato better than the items in the top painting. Also, I am confused by the white/green item in the top painting, can't quite make out what it is, but hey, opinion is definitely split!
HiCarol. I love them but need to say that the red tomato in the top painting is just too centered. Otherwise, I am with you in preferring the top one. Great use of color.
Carol, I agree with you, I much prefer the top one. The composition is much stronger and more cohesive. It doesn't feel "shoved up" like the lower one does.
I hate to be a tie breaker but I'm going to wade in and say I like the original because I love the shadows on the wall, the tomato and I like the way the table cloth puddles. Somehow the cloth on the redo sort of lets my eye drop down out of the picture. Just goes to show it's all in the eye of the beholder! Good luck with your workshop!
I love both, especially the colour! But for me, the original composition is peferable. I like the simplicity of it.
In comparison, I find the redo slightly cluttered. Had I not seen the original, I may not have thought so!
Shelley
The cascading cloth in the redo makes it SING!!!
Your repositioning of the cloth embraces all the objects and allows one's eye to travel around the painting. The direction of the brush strokes and variation in the cloth also guides the viewer to different areas, at different times -
All that stated, it hardly makes the first one unsuccessful. . .
OH, but in the first one, the stem on the tomato, gives the tomato that character you get in your fruit/vegetables (what IS a tomato?) -
For me, your stems interact and portray emotion - they set the tone; whatever it may be, coyness, curiousity, joy, confidence - what have you -
i'm thinking the original...although i love the looseness of the redo - i really disagree with you about your mom's little dish - i love the shadows and delicate color of it! - and i like the original composition and i don't at all feel things are ready to fall - i think the negative space at the bottom works well with just a hint of a ledge - sometimes less is more. have a safe trip!
The top one looks more like you to me! I like it!, especially the shadow on the glass. The first one is a little stiff or something. BUT, they both are great, really!
Carol, I think you have some great artistic character to invite these comments. All of your work reflects your heart - I enjoy the way you share it all so honestly. Brave lady! Have a great trip!
I love both. The bottom seems more refined and my fav.
The redo has more character, the first one is just a still life. The redo jumps with excitement.
I prefer the bottom one too.
One day I spent something like 3 hours looking at all your paintings and I found that the paintings I like the most are the tighter ones.
I think the bottom dish and its tighter edges and more finished feel is(was?) the best part of the paining. The flower in the bottom one is better too, as is the background.
Do you still have it or is the bottom picture no more? :-(
No, to me the dead-set centred tomato and the lack of definition in the crockery at right, plus the slightly bedraggled flower, though all engaging, are not a match for the bottom painting; with that superb dish and off-centre tomatoe. The folds at left, too -- simply and deftly done, not fussy. As for balanc: is it the same as centring things. Whistler's mother didn't think so. Thanks for a stimulating look at two very accomplished and pleasing works.
Both pieces have their own qualities but I definitely think that the bottom one is much more stoic,where as the top one is very dynamic. Love them both!
Hi Carol: I love it when you ask what we think, like it really does matter to you -and that allows us to connect with you. So thank you. As to the paintings. I love the top one with its strength of bold, vibrant colour and wide value range, and I love the central placement of the tomatoe -its colour shouts look at me, so placing him centre stage gives him the bravado he needs! I am confused about the white and green pottery though...
I have to side with those who like the original. I don't find it fussy at all. I like what I see as a mix of precise and loose. I find that interesting. The ledge in the redo is good but the teacup doesn't read like your Mom's pot which is very cool.
i like the bottom one better. the top one seems "too busy". the bottom one is less cluttered and sings in its simplicity.
i dont know if i'd have the guts to open it up to debate like you did. wow youre brave!
Very interesting...thanks for showing us these two. I feel the bottom one just needs more contrast in the background ,,especially in the area of your mother´s dish and the tabletop a tad lighter with more contrast on where it drops off...that way,,,for me anyway it would not look like it is ready to fall forward. I really like the flower and the tomatoe on the first
one. On the redo ,,the yellow flower ,,,on my monitor ,,,shows a lot of green surrounding the yellow
bloom whereas on the first one the yellow really stands out against the turquoise background. I like them both....if you don´t want the first one,,,send it to me...:)
I will take either one!
I like the redo better. It does have better composition and more depth, it also has more contrast in textures. The glass is glassier, even the tomato is brighter and shinier, the cloth seems more matte by contrast. The whole painting is jazzier with slightly more intense colors and much better contrast between lights and darks. It makes the first one seem muted. Also the shadow of the bottle on the cup is so striking that I can see how it enchanted you and became the point of the new composition.
It's fun doing the same subject more than once, the variations are interesting. With some people liking the first one better, you'll probably sell both anyway to equally happy buyers.
I like the deeper shadows and the prespective of the redo. I also like the drape falling off the table. The height of the flower is also better in the redo. I do like the tomato in the first one better. I thought the "redo" had an apple in it until I looked at the stem.
The top composition 'sits' more soundly on the table surface. I don't like the daisy centered in the cloth shape; the symmetry of equal green borders bothers me. You got a lot of posts; mine might be redundant.
Ditto Neiley about your courage putting the question out there.
I see strong points in both (oh such a fence-sitter I am!), but I like #2 (your second attempt) better. The tomato in center doesn't bother me much and love those shadows on the cup. Strong composition w/ fabric placement. Agree w/ Lisa that stems give character (tomato in #1 and flower in #2).
The main difference I notice between the two is that you made the front of the draped table a far darker value in #2 than in #1. Perhaps that might have made the table surface seem a little 'flatter' in the second attempt. My 2 cents!
Ditto Neiley about your courage putting the question out there.
I see strong points in both (oh such a fence-sitter I am!), but I like #2 (your second attempt) better. The tomato in center doesn't bother me much and love those shadows on the cup. Strong composition w/ fabric placement. Agree w/ Lisa that stems give character (tomato in #1 and flower in #2).
The main difference I notice between the two is that you made the front of the draped table a far darker value in #2 than in #1. Perhaps that might have made the table surface seem a little 'flatter' in the second attempt. My 2 cents!
Carol,
I really like the redo much better. The composition just feels tighter and the simplification and economy in strokes is nice. I too like the green reflection in the cup...that is very exciting!
I have to go with the bottom one, sorry... I like the shape of the covered dish, even if it is very similar to the tomato shape. The top one looks confusing as far as where the shadow on the cup falls. I had a hard time at first telling what the white shape was. I love the free strokes and the energy you produce in a painting. I love the way you just put it out there and share and critique yourself, too....
I agree that the cascading cloth in the redo really makes the painting dance! I do like the daisy better in the original, though. Thanks for sharing both versions!
I think both of them are quite nice in their own way. The bottom one feals more stoic in composition while the top one's composition is much more dynamic. Both great pieces.
Thanks Carol for being so honest and open about your joys and trials. You encourage us all!
I got a lot of emails about this, as well as these comments, and must report that the census is equally split. Half like the first best and half the second. Which reaffirms what I've learned since I started this blog - there is absolutely no accounting for taste. : ) Thank you all so much for putting in your 2 cents. It is always appreciated! -Carol
Hi Carol, I just came back today cause I wanted to read the comments ,,,I love to read the critiques...as I love that part of a class or workshop so as it is..this has been a "mini" workshop for all to take part in..
You lucky girl...getting to be in northern CA....I love it up there.
After reading all these comments and your emails about these two little beauties....do tell us what the outcome will be and whatever happens to both of them and by now, after reading all these comments,etc....if you don´t want either.....I am still available for "babysitting" or serving as their "foster mother".....I promise I´d give them both a very good home!!!
The top is unquestionably better, especially the composition. It's always good to trust your own instincts.
Do you need a drink? ; )
An art in itself, a critique seems a requirement to growth. I'm ambivalent - as a whole I think I like your "redo" - the ledge was a definite good thing - but I really liked your mother's dish in the original.
Thank you for sharing your work.
The bottom painting is better by far. Also, I love the colors you put in your mothers dish.
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